To fathers everywhere..........
Good morning, Camaro Comrades and Firebird Friends!
An early "Happy Fathers Day" to you guys out there in F- body Land..........
-- I miss my Dad - more than I thought possible.......
This weekend we'll celebrate Fathers -- and offer them 'thanks' for all they have done for us.
(I don't know about you, but it bothers me at how Television and some Movies portray fathers these days - usually by casting the father of the family as some bumbling fool.........)
I look back and realize that the passion for all things Chevrolet was instilled by both my father and my uncle - both of them in "That Great Chevy Showroom in the Sky" --
-- and so if your Father is still here on this earth - make sure you tell him how much he means to you..........it's later than you think!
Meanwhile - in honor of the men in my family - I offer you a classic piece by Erma Bombeck. Erma was a syndicated columnist back in the 60s and 70s --she wrote a column entitled "At Wit's End" -- which offered a humorous look at the American Family of the day.....I know Mom Settlemire and my Aunt Edith looked forward to the Pittsburgh Press (Newspaper) each evening -- and reading what "Erma" had to say. Erma went on to write several books - but alas -- was taken from us way too soon. (....I think she's looking at a Caprice Estate Wagon right now in that Great Chevy Showroom in the Sky...)
And so without further comment - Erma's Tribute to Fathers everywhere.....
When God Created Fathers...
When the good Lord was creating Fathers he started with a tall frame.
And a female angel nearby said, "What kind of Father is that? If you're going to make children so close to the ground, why have you put fathers up so high? He won't be able to shoot marbles without kneeling, tuck a child in bed without bending, or even kiss a child without a lot of stooping."
And God smiled and said, "Yes, but if I make him child size, who would children have to look up to?"
And when God made a Father's hands, they were large and sinewy.
And the angel shook her head sadly and said, "Do you know what you're doing? Large hands are clumsy. They can't manage diaper pins, small buttons, rubber bands on pony tails or even remove splinters caused by baseball bats."
And God smiled and said, "I know, but they're large enough to hold everything a small boy empties from his pockets at the end of a day...yet small enough to cup a child's face in his hands."
And then God moulded long, slim legs and broad shoulders.
And the angel nearly had a heart attack. "Boy, this is the end of the week, all right," she clucked. "Do you realize you just made a Father without a lap? How is he going to pull a child close to him without the kid falling between his legs?"
And God smiled and said, "A mother needs a lap. A father needs strong shoulders to pull a sled, balance a boy on a bicycle, and hold a sleepy head on the way home from the circus."
God was in the middle of creating two of the largest feet anyone had every seen when the angel could contain herself no longer.
"That's not fair. Do you honestly think those large boats are going to dig out of bed early in the morning when the baby cries? Or walk through a small birthday party without crushing at least three of the guests?"
And God smiled and said, "They'll work. You'll see. They'll support a small child who wants to ride a horse to Banbury Cross, or scare off mice at the summer cabin, or display shoes that will be a challenge to fill."
God worked throughout the night, giving the Father few words, but a firm authoritative voice; eyes that saw everything, but remained calm and tolerant.
Finally, almost as an afterthought, he added tears.
Then he turned to the angel and said, "Now, are you satisfied that he can love as much as a Mother?"
The angel said nothing more.