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post #1 of 15 Old 04-17-2008, 04:13 PM Thread Starter
 
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Question Long distance relationships.

Can they work?

The girl I'm seeing plans on moving about 250miles away for the summer, we've been seeing each other since early Feb. So I'm not sure what to do, in one hand we havn't been together that long and in the other I'm not ready to let go and she's not either.

She and I want to make it work, she has things to do down here so she'll be visiting on weekends to every other weekend.

What am I getting myself into?

She's moving back in with her mom btw. All her family is there.
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post #2 of 15 Old 04-17-2008, 04:37 PM
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Yes they can

Just to give you a different view:

In 1990 I was in a 4 month training school for the Navy. I met a girl in my class & proposed 3 months later. The next month, I got sent to Pensacola, Florida & She got sent to Norfolk, Virginia. (over 1,000 miles). We got married 9 months later & went back to our separate bases. The next month, she calls me & told me she was pregnant. She then transferred to North Carolina & I stayed in Florida. A month after our son was born, I got stationed with her in North Carolina & we've been together ever since.

That was a total of 18 months apart, during which we got married & had a child - not something you'd expect to work out considering we were only together for 4 months before getting stationed apart from each other.

Last weekend was our 17th anniversary. I don't feel that long distance relationships work forever, but if you're determined, it will work. It definitely will not be EASY, but it can work. Just remember that you can't cheat on her & if she does cheat on you, then you were the better person & she wasn't worth it in the first place.

250 miles is not that far - only 4 hours driving (or 2.5 if you have a new Camaro)

Hope this helps....
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post #3 of 15 Old 04-17-2008, 06:01 PM
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It can work for a certain time frame based on the relationship between the two of you. I did experience it for almost 2 years, and I admit it was very difficult and would not do it again.

My personal opinion is you need that physical connection, and no not necessarily sexual. The only issue that came across for me was the fact that you will begin spending more time with female friends, and will start to build that attachment. Not because you dont have a good relationship with the significant other, just due to the fact that it is human nature to have that constant physical and visual interaction. The biggest problem I had was the concern. I was never a jealous person in relationships where I saw the individual on a daily/weekly basis. However, when they begin going out with friends and start reconnecting with old "male friends" from the past it may slowly start to wear on you.

Like I said, I managed to stick with it for two years without cheating..but it is two years I wish I had back, and took a toll on me physically and emotionally.
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post #4 of 15 Old 04-17-2008, 06:15 PM
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I had a relationship that lasted through 4+ years of college 180 miles away. I went to visit about once a month or so, and she came home when she could. She was in Boston, so it was a cool city to go hang out in (and that's coming from a NY'er). We ended up breaking up during her 5th year in College (she was going for her masters)...but now we're married (going on 8 years) so I guess things worked out (at least that's what I think most of the time).

So, yes it can work...you have to trust each other...if not, you'll be miserable. BUT, isn't there a rule that if your GF is more than 179 miles away, it's not really cheating? That's what I heard.

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post #5 of 15 Old 04-17-2008, 06:21 PM
 
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If your young ...move on
If you are at least mid 20's then work at it
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post #6 of 15 Old 04-17-2008, 08:13 PM
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It can still work, but it will take some effort and commitment.
Sounds like just a temporary move, am I understanding that right?

With her already coming back every 2 weeks, that's a good base.
Plan to go there a few times as well, and a surprise visit is always good.

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post #7 of 15 Old 04-17-2008, 08:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OctaneZ28 View Post
It can still work, but it will take some effort and commitment.
Sounds like just a temporary move, am I understanding that right?

With her already coming back every 2 weeks, that's a good base.
Plan to go there a few times as well, and a surprise visit is always good.
My husband and I spent about 2 years where we only saw eachother every 3-4 months. It was rocky at some points and almost ended but now it's fine.

Still a wannabe.
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post #8 of 15 Old 04-17-2008, 09:39 PM
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they can work..my wife and I had 1350 miles between us for 6 months. When we first met. A lot of phone bills in the hundreds of dollars..lol
But I think that let us really get to know one another and talk and find out who we really are..
proposed to her on New Years eve of that same year, 3 months after meeting her and only seeing her in personless than half a dozen times ..with that distance to make up for another few months then we moved in together..
In May we will be celebrating our 2nd wedding anniversary..
And we been together for almost 6 years.

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post #9 of 15 Old 04-18-2008, 10:53 AM
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It can if you are both committed. Once you're not, you both need to decide it's over.

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post #10 of 15 Old 04-18-2008, 11:16 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sluuug View Post
Can they work?

The girl I'm seeing plans on moving about 250miles away for the summer, we've been seeing each other since early Feb. So I'm not sure what to do, in one hand we havn't been together that long and in the other I'm not ready to let go and she's not either.

She and I want to make it work, she has things to do down here so she'll be visiting on weekends to every other weekend.

What am I getting myself into?

She's moving back in with her mom btw. All her family is there.
They can work, but in my experience they fail more often than not.

I hope it works out for you

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