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Yesterday I had a flat tire on the interstate. So I eased
my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out of
the car and opened the trunk. I took out 2 cardboard men,
unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing
oncoming traffic. They look so lifelike you wouldn't
believe! They are in trench coats, exposing their nude
bodies and private parts to the approaching drivers. I
started to change my tire, and to my surprise, cars started
slowing down looking at my lifelike men. And of course,
traffic started backing up. Everybody was tooting their
horns and waving like crazy. It wasn't long before a
state trooper pulled up behind me. He got out of his car and
started walking towards me. I could tell he was not a happy
camper! "What's going on here?" "My car has a flat tire," I
said calmly. "Well, what are those obscene cardboard
men doing here by the road?" I couldn't believe
that he didn't know. So I told
him, "Hello-o-o-o-o-o, those are my emergency
flashers!"
LMAO!!! Jane
 

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Not as blond as this.....a girlfriend of mine and I were watching the news and the announcer was giving a report about 2 brazillian men killed in a sky diving accident...she got very emotional over this and I had to explain that when people do things like this they understand the dangers involved and it's nothing that we have any control over....to which she said she understood but couldn't fathom all those people getting killed...she asked..."how many is a brazillian anyway?"
 

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Not as blond as this.....a girlfriend of mine and I were watching the news and the announcer was giving a report about 2 brazillian men killed in a sky diving accident...she got very emotional over this and I had to explain that when people do things like this they understand the dangers involved and it's nothing that we have any control over....to which she said she understood but couldn't fathom all those people getting killed...she asked..."how many is a brazillian anyway?"
I call BS!
 

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I call BS!
X100

This is not 1991, 99% of the members on here have internet.


















I hope someone quotes that, because that is funny right there!
 

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you want pics of nakkid man cardboard cutouts? lol hmmmmmmm
I hope you are not suprised.

1. He wants to see a naked man.
2. He does not realize that it was a joke.

(I am sure his next response is that he was kidding)

Wait, didn't I send this in a PM?

Oh crap!:lol:
 

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Honest true story. I was walking back from chow telling this joke to a few of my friends. First, I'll tell the joke.

All of the countries in the world came together to say what they were going to accomplish that is great. The United States said they were going to cure Cancer. England said they were going to cure blindness. The Polish said they were going to land on the sun. After hearing this everyone laughed and said "You can not land on the sun!" To which the Polish replied "You fools! We're going to do it at night!"

After saying my friend replied "Wait, the Polish are seriously doing this?"
 

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gto an even better one ... (no joke true story) So a neighbor of mine was having car trouble with her trans am. So she cam to get my father he asked her what the problem was and she said "my car is low on oil and ive already added four quarts but it it still wont start and the oil dip stistick still says its low.. so he walks over to the car and see's where she still has the last bottle of oil sticking in the hole when she went to get my father .. With out even asking a word my father says "well there your problem right there.".. puzzled she looks around and says "what I dont see anything?" my dad replies "you just poured 4 quarts of motor oil in to your transmission...
 

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(True story from high school)
I had this friend back in high school that was very blonde. One day her she was complaining that her turn signal was out so i asked her if she had filled up the turn signal fluid lately. she got a very worried look on her face and said that she had never filled it up. I told her, well thats your problem right there.

the funny part is that the bell rang for class before i could tell her it was a joke and when i had gotten out of class i had forgotten about it and just went home.

she came to school pretty mad at me the next day. apparently she had gone to auto zone and asked for turn signal fluid!!
 

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Reminds me of when my boss was lambasting and berating me about toilet paper..and he said "This doesn't grow on trees!"
And my response would have been, "Actually, ..."
 
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